


After Charms on Tuesdays

by such_heights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-18
Updated: 2007-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-18 01:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/such_heights/pseuds/such_heights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been sneaking out together for a while now, but Sirius still can't quite get his head around it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Charms on Tuesdays

They sneak out after Charms lessons on Tuesdays, because it has been carefully calculated that this is the time when they are least likely to have to fabricate an explanation for their whereabouts. They're used to plotting against the rest of the world; it seems strange to be plotting against half of their own company. Still, nothing to be done about it, for the moment at least.

Sirius isn't especially accustomed to being nervous, it's not exactly his style. But the fact remains, every time he catches Remus' eye he feels something that can only be called fear. Fear of what, precisely, he has yet to identify. It's probably got something to do with the fact that every time he looks at Remus he has to do something really quite drastic to ensure he doesn't snog him senseless right in the middle of the classroom. He suspects that wouldn't go down terribly well with his housemates.

Remus seems remarkably unfazed by their proceedings, in comparison. Sirius doesn't quite understand how he can just take all of this in his stride the way he does. He can't help but wonder if they should have some kind of conversation. But that, in all honesty, sends Sirius into a mild panic at the very thought. They don’t really talk all that much. Well, obviously they do talk – about Quidditch and breakfast and Transfiguration and pranks and what a bastard Snape is and what they're all going to do next full moon, but they don't really talk about _feelings_ or anything. Mostly, things have been communicated on a rather more physical level. Which Sirius isn't complaining about at all, but his brain is spinning around in circles, he hasn't been able to get a full night's sleep in a month, and maybe if he could manage to string a full sentence together he'd be less of a neurotic wreck.

With a sigh, he realises he has completely failed to pay attention to anything Professor Flitwick has said in the past half an hour. If things carry on at this rate, he's going to have to give up school as an entirely lost cause. The lesson ends, he wonders idly if there's been homework set, decides he doesn't care and gets his books together. He glances up just in time to see Remus wink at him from the next table, and he feels another of his rapidly depleting neurons firing itself off into oblivion.

James heads off to Quidditch practice, Peter makes for the common room, Remus makes vague excuses about the library and Sirius hasn't quite got the wits about him to explain himself any more, just hovers next to Remus while the rest of the people in his class vanish. All's quiet in the corridor except for his thudding heartbeat and too-loud breathing and what on earth does Remus see in him anyway when he can't even breathe properly? Remus just gives him a quick smile, and they head outside.

The day's fresh and a bit cool, and Sirius shivers, though he suspects that could be his confounded nerves again. They stroll out towards the lake as though this was the most innocent of activities, and Sirius feels Remus' hand brushing against his. They could have stopped some time ago, but this new tradition dictates that only the small thicket around the other side will do. They complete the journey in silence that, in spite of all Sirius' fears that continue to plague him, is not uncomfortable. They go down into a dip that hides them from view, and Remus turns to face him.

"Moony, I—" Sirius begins, and Remus just laughs.

"Have you been over-thinking again?" He places a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "I don't know how many times I've told you, you really ought to stop."

At that, Sirius kisses him. Every time, he finds it a slightly astonishing experience, the way that really quite unattractive things like hissing breath and saliva combine with very nice things like Remus' hand sliding into his back pocket and a twisting, exploding feeling in his chest. In a spate of diligent practice that probably would be much better applied to his subjects, Sirius has found that he's improving. Basic preliminary problems such as not have to gasp for air in a completely undignified manner have been overcome, and the way that Remus is tensing against him now does seem to indicate he's not making a complete hash of this.

Remus softly breaks off, and Sirius opens his eyes. Remus is looking at him with slight concern.

"Everything alright?"

Sirius feels confused. "Yes, course it is. Why do you ask?"

"You've been acting like even more of a madman than usual recently," Remus explains.

"Well— this, y'know, this thing, it's pretty madness-inducing, wouldn't you say?"

"Evidently." Remus raises an eyebrow, and Sirius half-wants to kiss him again just to stop him looking so superior. But then Remus' expression softens, and Sirius sighs, trying to gather his thoughts together.

"Ah, I'm sorry – I will be less insane soon, honestly." Sirius grins suddenly. "You do things to my brain, you're a terrible person."

"Do I? Sorry!" Remus replies without a hint of remorse.

Sirius casts around for the right words. "I'm just- not very good with secrets, really. Not like you."

Remus shrugs. "Practised, that's all."

"We will tell them, won't we?"

"Yeah, of course. Just need to prepare them a bit, I suppose."

Sirius nods. "Right." Worry strikes again. "What if they're not alright with it?"

Quietly, Remus says, "Considering what you've all already been fine with, I don't think this is going to be that big a deal."

"Ok. I should stop being an idiot, shouldn't I?"

Remus laughs at him. "That's beyond your powers, I'm afraid."

"Oi!"

"But seriously, it's going to be fine." Remus runs a thumb along Sirius' elbow. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Now, are we quite finished with this talking nonsense?"

Sirius laughs, feeling relieved. "Probably."

"Good," Remus murmurs, brushing his mouth against Sirius' jaw.

Sirius feels like there's more that perhaps he should have said, but maybe a verbal deluge of all the strange things that have been occurring in his mind wouldn't really help anything anyway. Remus thinks everything is alright, and that's good enough for him – after all, Moony usually has a better handle on reality than most. So they'll carry on sneaking outside after Charms, and stealing moments of privacy in the dormitory, and sometime they'll tell Peter and James – of course they'll be fine with it, Sirius tells himself. That's in the future, and it comes to Sirius' attention that really what he needs to do is stop thinking about everything else, and start thinking about now, which is Remus against him, soft and warm and pressing. As Sirius backs Remus up against a very convenient tree, wondering just how long they can get away with being up here, he decides that it's worth every moment of fear, every second of lost sleep, and that really he didn't need the brain cells that have been lost in these encounters so far anyway.


End file.
